Dear Younger Zoë

I know you

The weird kid

Whispered about in the halls

The little girl who sat alone at lunch

And read banned books

Under the cover of night

The closeted child secretly in love

With her best friends

That exiled parts of herself for approval

The weird kid

Who morphed herself into teacher's pet

The little girl who excelled at writing

But failed at math

And chased boys who bullied her

That she wanted to kiss anyway

The closeted child who wanted

To chase after girls too

I know you

Better than anyone

I watch you from aross the room

Dread and shame sinking in my stomach

Like a downed ship even now

The mortally wounding words

Of my parents

Of my cruel classmates

Still echoing in me

Across space and time

Too loud

Too disobedient

Too unladylike

Too weird

Too much

Dear younger Zoë…

I know that no one sat with you then

But I will now

Give me your hand

I'll lead you to my table set for two

Seat you at the head

Serve you the finest helpings of forgiveness

And the richest volumes to consume

Ink flowing off the page until you're fed

I'll suspend you in my gaze, really see you

Pull up a chair and listen to you dream

Be the adult you need

Just like the stories say

We all should get a happy ending

But there's no dragon for you to slay

No prince to sweep you

Into a whirlwind romance

Look in your magic mirror

At who's the fairest of them all

Listen to what calls you from

The deepest parts of your being

You'll be your first and last love

Your most faithful, epic affair

Overflowing with messy, loud passion

Fit for such a messy, loud girl

I'll slay the ugly insecurities

That rear their head

Embrace the parts you disowned

Call this imperfect body home

You're already equipped for battle

Put down your sword and shield

Close your book

Pick up your mighty pen

Erase their lies

Correct the course of the narrative

Rewrite the stories they tell about you

With a steady hand

And most of all

Don't forget to write that ending

Save the princess

Kiss the girl

Fuck the haters

Fight not to prove your worth

But to preserve yourself

Live happily, messily, loudly ever after

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