I Am Zack 🏳️‍⚧️

I wrote this as 2023 wrapped up and 2024 dawned when I chose my masculine name...and I'm ALREADY coming up on the first anniversary of changing my legal name to Zack Zoë Dunning!!!

When I was 16

I wrote a short story

About a bisexual boy

"Someone else"

Not me...

Deeply in denial

Tormented by doubt

Torn between his girlfriend

And his crush on a guy

At the end

He still can’t accept himself

From shame and self-blame

And rejects love

Like his family has rejected him

His heart shattering into a million pieces

I’m still picking up the pieces

Bigotry is a deafening drum

But my song is much louder

I’m still Zoë

But he was me

Zack was me all along

---

I was pondering for a while what I wanted my masculine name to be. I knew I wanted it to start with a Z, since I've always loved Z names, and my birth name is Zoë, of course. I had the urge to read over my short story, Torn, again. I'd already known for a while that I wrote it about “someone else” to cope with my bisexuality. But then I saw that the name I chose for the boy protagonist was Zack!!! My mind was fucking BLOWN!! 🤯🤯🥹🥹🥹🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

I immediately felt a core part of me stir awake and stare directly into the sun that I'd shoved down deep and dark, like stitching myself back together and the pieces finally fit into place. I don't have to write about "someone else" anymore.

My first boyfriend was named Zach too lol! 🤭 Freud would have a fucking field day with this...HA!