LGBTQ+ and Relationship Glossary: Slang and Terms I Use Frequently

I know I use a lot of queer-coded slang and other language frequently on my blog that many people will not understand, so I decided to make a glossary of sorts :)

A useful "Gender-Bread Person" infographic I share all the time that is the most comprehensive and accurate I've seen by far.

Disclaimer: These definitions and labels are by no means comprehensive. As many varieties of meaning for terms, gender, sexuality, etc exist as there are people, but I tried to compile the most widely-accepted consensus of definitions based on what I've gathered from my own research and experience. The human experience is fluid and ever-changing and can’t ever be contained to a single label, but labels can help simplify and promote understanding.

I will continually update the more that I write and the more that comes to mind.

Sex and Gender

Gender identity: A person's sense of self in relation to gender.

Gender expression: How a person expresses and presents themself outwardly, such as style, actions, demeanor, and more.

Cisgender: A label for a person who identifies with the sex and gender they were assigned at birth.

Transgender: A label for a person who does not identify with the sex and gender they were assigned at birth.

Non-binary: A label for a person who is not exclusively a man or a woman. Non-binary people may or may not identify as trans.

AGAB (assigned gender at birth): Generally, infants are assigned “girl” or “boy” at birth based solely on a visual assessment of the infant’s genitalia.

AFAB (assigned female at birth): A person that was assigned female at birth based on the presence of a vulva and vagina.

AMAB (assigned male at birth): A person that was assigned male at birth based on the presence of a penis and scrotum.

Intersex: Formerly and more popularly known as hermaphrodite (which is now an outdated and inaccurate term). Intersex people have naturally-occurring variations of sex characteristics, reproductive organs, androgen receptor, and/or chromosomes that don’t fit into the sex binary (but they are usually still AFAB or AMAB).

The sex binary: The social construct that humans have only two sexes: male and female.

The gender binary: The social construct that humans have only two genders: man and woman.

Sexual Orientation

Lesbian: Usually means womyn attracted to womyn.

Sapphic: More inclusive term with many definitions, but generally non-men attracted to other non-men, or femmes attracted to other femmes, who can identify their gender any number of ways.

Gay: Usually means men attracted to men but can be an umbrella term, like LGBTQ+.

Bisexual: Sexual attraction to two or more genders.

Pansexual: Sexual attraction regardless of gender.

Demisexual: Little to no sexual attraction until a close emotional bond is formed.

Asexual: Little to no sexual attraction.

Romantic Orientation

Biromantic: Romantic attraction to two or more genders.

Panromantic: Romantic attraction regardless of gender.

Demiromantic: Little to no romantic attraction until an emotional bond is formed.

Aromantic: Little to no romantic attraction.

Relationship Orientation

Mono (short for monogamy): A healthy preference for one intimate partner at a time; a person would be called monogamous, and they may or may not experience singular attraction to one person at a time.

Toxic monogamy: A term for the dominant Western cultural "ideal" that promotes possessiveness, codependency, and blind rule/social norm-abiding. (Wording courtesy of @unapolygetically on Instagram.)

Ambi (short for ambiamory): Little to no preference for any form of nonmonogamy or monogamy; highly dependent on people involved, life circumstances, and other variables. A person would be called ambiamorous.

Non-mono (short for non-monogamy): A blanket term for every practice/form of relationship that doesn't strictly adhere to monogamous standards. A person would be called non-monogamous.

Poly (short for polyamory): A term for the practice of engaging in more than one intimate partnership at a time with the fully-informed consent of all involved. A person would be called polyamorous.

Relationship anarchy: A relationship philosophy where a person chooses to consciously step off the relationship escalator, designs each relationship from scratch, and practices non-hierarchy with all relationships in their life; i.e. intimate partnerships aren't given less or greater priority than strictly platonic friends, family, etc.

Relationship escalator: What most people grow up believing (or more accurately, assuming) that intimate relationships “should” look like, how they are “supposed” to work, and what any emotionally healthy adult “should” want (Amy Gahran). In our society, the relationship escalator involves dating, committing to sexual/romantic exclusivity, getting engaged, getting married, having children, and so on until death does you part (wording courtesy of @unapolygetically on Instagram.)

Queer Slang & Terms

Cis: Short for cisgender.

Cishet: Slang for referring to cisgender + heterosexual people.

Cis-passing: A label for trans people meaning that they "look cisgender" enough to pass and don't "look trans"; although this is an arbitrary, restrictive, and binary way of viewing trans people and their place in society, I use the term to talk about the difference in how I am perceived and treated now.

Trans: Short for transgender.

Transmasc (short for transmasculine): A label used to describe trans people who were assigned female at birth (AFAB), are on the masculine gender identity spectrum, and/or who express themselves in ways socially perceived as masculine.

Transfemme (short for transfeminine): A label used to describe trans people who were assigned male at birth (AMAB), are on the feminine gender identity spectrum, and/or who express themselves in ways socially perceived as feminine.

Queer: Sexuality and gender identities other than heterosexual and cisgender. The term originated as a way for gender-conforming gay men to distinguish themselves from more socially feminine gay men, then evolved to a slur used against sexual and gender minority people (particularly gay men). Now it's been reclaimed by the queer community as a positive, inclusive identity.

Egg: A term used in the trans community for a non-binary and/or trans person who isn't aware of their true identity yet.

Hatchling: A term used in the trans community for a non-binary and/or trans person who has "hatched" out of their "egg" and is now self-aware of their true identity.

Gender-affirmation: "An interpersonal, interactive process whereby a person receives social recognition and support for their gender identity and expression" (Bockting, Knudson, & Goldberg, 2006).

Gender dysphoria: A sense of unease or psychological and emotional distress caused by a mismatch between a person's sex (physical characteristics) and/or gender identity. There are as many variations of gender dysphoria as there are non-binary/trans people, and not every trans person experiences gender dysphoria.

Social dysphoria: A sense of unease or psychological and emotional distress caused by society perceiving a person's gender identity incorrectly and treating them accordingly; also can be caused by interacting in a society divided sharply by a sex/gender binary and being forced to "choose".

Gender euphoria: Like the name suggests, a sense of euphoria or psychological and emotional relief from the correct correspondence between a person's sexual characteristics, gender identity, and/or gender expression.

Binding: The act of flattening breast tissue with the use of safe. comfortable chest-compression material called a binder. Many non-binary and transmasculine people bind to help alleviate gender dysphoria related to their chest. There are many different binding methods.

Hormone replacement therapy (HRT): A medical regimen whereby trans people administer hormones to either masculinize or feminize (at least how society perceives the effects) their bodies as desired.

Masculinizing HRT: Hormone therapy that administers testosterone and on occasion other hormones for the development of "male" secondary sex characteristics and suppression/minimization of "female" secondary sex characteristics.

Feminizing HRT: Hormone therapy that administers mainly estrogen and progesterone and sometimes testosterone blockers for the development of "female" secondary sex characteristics and suppression/minimization of "male" secondary sex characteristics.

Bottom growth: Refers to clitoral hypertrophy, or the clitoris growing in length and width, due to masculinizing HRT.