; Suicide Prevention ;

This is the last poem I shared from the Suicide Prevention Showcase! It’s about the significance of the semi-colon as a symbol for almost giving into the temptation of suicide but stubbornly staying alive.

The semi-colon

Represents a sentence

The author could’ve ended;

But they chose to write on

The author is you;

And the sentence is your life

I’ve almost killed myself

More times than I can keep count

Laid down and let despair

Wash over me

So long I became wrinkled in the bath

Almost succumbed to my depression;

But I kept blindly stumbling forward

Hopeless thoughts of misery

First crept in at 11

I knew no inner peace or joy

From 15 on

Spent that summer

Spiraling down the drain

Planned to slit my wrists or run away

I didn’t think I’d see 18 or 21;

But managed to hold on for dear life

So I wasn’t thrown off this wild ride

I was writing a suicide note in 2023

Writing my will at 23 years young

Saying goodbye to my cat

Telling my partner I love them

Preparing to leave

Without saying any other goodbyes

Praying my family would forgive me

As I approached my death sentence:

Period.

I thought suicide

Was the only solution I could find

Tragic not only for me

The would-be-victim

But for all the victims

I would leave behind

Then the exclamation mark

Jumped off the page

Shouted, “Enough!”

Wrapped around me like sheets

To comfort me during the long nights

I spent crying, dying in bed

Shedding my old skin

My loved ones held me close

Like (parentheses)

Folding me in their (arms)

And their encouraging words

Until I could see the sunrise again

All I can see now is

? Question mark after question mark ?

Punctuating the page

Making the story more confusing

As it goes on

I don’t know how to put them to rest;

But I don’t think suicide

Is the answer anymore

I hide commas behind my teeth,

Spitting those seeds of hope

Out slowly

Instead of swallowing them all,

Waiting for the next half

Of the sentence

To move on

The longer I write

The harder it is to carve out my name

My place in this godforsaken world

But my story isn’t over yet

I can finally see light

At the end of the tunnel

For now I pour ellipses

From my lungs

So they become my breath

I exhale…

Dive into the depths

Of my fear and pain

And I carry on…