Virgin

An original poem about evangelical Christian purity culture.

"Bloody Bride" by Anonymous Artist (Image source)

I am white as snow

Washed with blood

My red robes cascade

To the floor, pooling around

My shackled, pale ankles

My legs are crossed tightly

A ring of virtue firmly slid

Onto my left hand to cement that

I am promised to a celestial king

As a prize for his conquests

But my dowry is priceless

Life trickles from between my legs,

A testament to my youth and virility

That may as well be ichor—

The fluid that courses

Through the gods’ veins—

For how my flow and sexuality are

Deemed sacred and inviolable

“Oh! precious is the flow

That makes me white as snow;

No other fount I know,

Nothing but the blood of Jesus.”

One moment

One encounter

My blood springs forth

I am no longer sacred

I have been tainted by touch

And my blood has been spilled

Onto sacrilegious sheets

I am no longer a virgin

Nothing can eclipse the

Sanctified life that my flow

Has the power to produce

Not even my mortality

Nor my fragile frame

If I choose to sacrifice

The seed sprouting inside me

To spare myself and my health

I have shed innocent blood

I am not a virgin

“What can wash away my sin?

Nothing but the blood of Jesus;

What can make me whole again?

Nothing but the blood of Jesus.”

I exalt my god

Singing his victories

While strumming my desolation

Admiring his perfection

While lamenting my fallibility

Praising his purity alone

While digging my dirty fingernails

Into my palms until they bite

I taste copper on my tongue now

My virginity has been perverted

But not by my erotic explorations

My innocence was stripped and exposed

By false teachers and prophets

Who claimed to express

Eternal love and understanding

But preached shame and judgment

Virginity is not limited to rigid

Sexuality, chastity, and devotion

It’s not perfect, nor is it spotless

Virginity embodies independence

Inner strength and freedom

This strength is not born

Out of trauma or ego

But from spirit and body intertwined

In mellifluous synchronicity

I accept this harmonious arrangement

Shameless and unbound

My lips and limbs meet another’s

In a messy, loving caress

As if this were the first time

And I exhale a breath like a prayer:

Spirit, lead me to where

My trust is safely invested

And my heart protected

My soul will rest in my embrace

For I am mine and mine alone

All these magical, ancient sensations

Flood my consciousness

And elevate my spirit

I am a virgin again

Perfect and whole

Oh! precious is the flow

That makes me white as snow;

No other peace I know,

Nothing but the joy

Of my own love and virtue

I am pure and righteous

Entangled in these

Beautiful, blood-stained sheets

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