Sweet and Sour Twenty Six 🍋

Solar Return 6/8/25

Unknown artist

I'm 26 now

Officially entering my late 20s

In utter disbelief

Trying to turn a new leaf

I've shot up like an evergreen tree

But I feel like it's still 2016

Like I'm just 16

Always a late bloomer

Time snuck up on me

I thought I'd feel less sorrow

Didn't expect the unrelenting

Anger at injustice

The loneliness I can't shake

The people I really want to celebrate

My persistently stubborn existence with

Are spread across the continent

The endless space stretching between us

Tears my heart strings to shreds

Strumming them with

Mellifluous melancholy

Michigan, Texas, Arizona

Colorado, New York City

Miss me as much as I miss them

10 years ago

I sweetened like a ripe grape vine

Aglow with youthful hope

The sweetest kind of

Ignorant innocence

Baby Zoë

Knew nothing of the

Euphoria and despair

To come

I dreamed of marriage by now

Madly, magically in heterosexual love

Motherhood x2

Steadfast friends

A vegetable garden

Fertile soil as foundation

A full belly and fulfilled

Childhood fantasies

I thought I'd actually understand taxes

That my dad would always be around

To remind me to get an oil change

And be proud of the person

I turned out to be

That I would finally like wine

As much as my mom does

That she'd always be willing

To cook for me

But I still whine about working full hours

And rarely go to bed on time

No one to tuck me in

Or run to with fright

In the inky, jet black night

I expected to be successful

By society's standards at 25

Satiated by satisfaction at long last

That I would sincerely believe I deserve

A safe, blissful life

Quiet the critics in my mind

I still planned on spontaneous sleepovers

Giggling at 2 am with my girls

Stealing kisses of excitement and surprise

Sealing our fates with glossed lips

I envisioned a future

Bursting to the brim

With possibility

Unburdened and free

But I lost my early 20s

To violence, depression, and grief

I accept the agonizing uncertainty

Yet slow burn beauty of aging

I'm trying to go easier on myself

Love me as dearly as I do my friends

Drop the elusive pursuit of perfection

I must move on from dredges of the past

Let go of bitter grudges

That only serve to poison me

Uproot shame

Not my self-worth like a weed

I want to elope with hope

Live every day as if it's my first

Wide eyed with newborn wonder

Revel in rapturous first love

Again and again

But learn my lesson

Like it's my first heartburn

I can't read the palm of my future

The crystal ball too clouded to see clearly

But intend it to include me

I look forward to 30 and beyond

Even as I yawn wide and sometimes

Secretly hope to drift into sleep forever

Stargazing into my old soul

I squeeze every drop of doubt out of me

The person I want to be

Was right there all along

Life seems to give me

More lemons than sugar

But I mix them together anyway

The fruit of my labor

Makes lemonade with a punch

This is sweet and sour 26

And I'm learning to love the aftertaste

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