The Deadly Duo of Domestic Violence and Homelessness

An article I wrote on the intersection between the two, originally published in the KC Tenants weekly newsletter, The Bullhorn

Trigger warning: Brief descriptions of domestic violence

During the initial height of the COVID-19 Pandemic, we all were told we’d be significantly safer quarantined at home. But many, including myself, faced another danger we had virtually no protection from: domestic violence. Domestic violence soared when the world was shut down in what has since been called the Shadow Pandemic.

According to UN Women, exacerbating factors in this hidden crisis that has only intensified since 2020 include: security, health, and money worries; cramped living conditions; movement restrictions (such as lack of access to transportation); deserted public spaces; strained health services; overflow of domestic violence and homeless shelters; and more!

I escaped one abusive relationship only to be trapped in another during lockdown. Isolated without support from family or friends, he was all I had...and I relied on him for transportation since I lost my car. At first, he was loving, caring, and kind. But without healthy outlets for his fear and aggression, with poor mental health and strained finances, and his refusal to seek help, I became his emotional punching bag. There was no excuse or justification for his behavior.

We lived in a crowded house with three other people and later a tiny apartment. His cheating, manipulation, suicide attempts, threats, assaults, and aggression only worsened over time since we couldn’t get space from each other until I feared for my life. I felt like I was suffocating, struggling not to drown and choking for air, and I couldn’t see the light.

I faced the same dilemma that so many survivors do: stay and endure abuse to not lose housing and risk the violence escalating until we’re killed…or escaping our abusers, which often means becoming homeless and even losing children and pets in the process.

Eventually, he pushed me to a breaking point, so I chose homelessness and ongoing stressful housing insecurity that I’m still struggling with. Thankfully, the criminal justice system worked in my favor against my abuser, but that often isn’t the case, especially for most queer folks and people of color.

Domestic violence is directly tied to the housing justice cause, as it’s the primary cause of homelessness for women and girls. According to UN Women, 1 in 3 women and girls worldwide experience sexual and/or physical violence by an intimate partner in their lives. Domestic violence and homeless shelters are at capacity, with more people needing help than currently allocated resources can provide. Not to mention, people with unhealed trauma and lack of access to adequate mental health care are more likely to perpetrate domestic abuse themselves.

Poor people experience domestic violence at much higher rates than those who are financially secure. Women living in rental housing are three times more at risk than women who own their homes. Landlords often have zero tolerance for crime policies, which also harm domestic violence victims, who are at high risk for eviction whether they caused the violence or not.

Furthermore, some landlords are entirely unwilling to rent to victims at all! According to the ACLU, landlords often only learn about domestic violence because victims have sought the help of police or the courts. When victims know that they may face eviction if a landlord finds out about abuse, they are less likely to seek assistance and more likely to submit to the abuse.

Thankfully, KC Tenants here in Kansas City, MO just won a ban on source of income discrimination, which means that landlords can’t deny someone housing based on previous history of domestic violence, among other things!

Not only do we need to believe and better support survivors—of ALL genders—with community care and not just policing, but we need to expand funding for domestic violence shelters and housing programs so we can open more doors and lower barriers on the path to healing. Above all, we need to address the root causes of poverty and crime so we can prevent domestic violence from occurring to begin with!

I’m alive today because I was able to escape and survive. But not everyone is that fortunate. If you find yourself trapped in a domestic violence situation, there is help. For a comprehensive list of resources and immediate support, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233! Stay safe comrades! Sending all the love.

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